Bird with broken wing.
Bird with broken wing
Locked up inside
A tiny cage
Till the day I heard your cry
And set you free
But as I reached in
To heal the hurt
You fled in wild dismay
Now your pain
Has made you blind as you can be
Echoes in the distance
Are almost all you hear from me
Each time I speak your name
You flee away
While the agonies of mindless flight
Grow more than you can bare
Still you think it's because of me
That you feel this way
Soarin' far above the storm
On wings spread strong and wide
Is the vision that you've buried
In despair
You dash yourself against the stones
And flutter terrified
When my love will heal your wounds
And lift you there
Like a frightened child
Who starts away with every move
You want to trust
But watch so fearfully
Everything you're longing for
Is here within my hands
I'm waiting now for you
To come to me
Soarin' far above the storm
On wings spread strong and wide
Is the vision that you've buried
In despair
You dash yourself against the stones
And flutter terrified
When my love will heal your wounds
And lift you there
Like a frightened child
Who starts away with every move
You want to trust
But watch so fearfully
Everything you're longing for
Is here within my hands
I'm waiting now for you
To come to me
I'm waiting now for you
To come to me
I'm waiting now for you
To come to me
Lyrics: Don Francisco
Bird with broken wing - Don Francisco
Trust in God is all it takes. He can heal the wounds and lift me there. There where i'm meant to be.
Blog about living a life without being a sheep, being honest to oneself and live as life is ment to be lived.
zondag 16 augustus 2015
dinsdag 9 juni 2015
Mobile phones
I grew up in a house with no telephone at all, at least during my younger years. I remember going to the nearby post office with my mother where there was a public phone whenever my mother wanted to call some one. And that happened not often. But eventually my parents decided to get a landline telephone. I thought it was a marvelous bit of technique. But with it came this urge, the urge to pick up the horn when it was ringing. Some one needed to talk to one of the household and they can't be left waiting to long, or even worse, letting the call to be unanswered. This was also one of many conditionings i was subjected to.
Years later when i was living on my own i thought that i needed a landline telephone. Again years later i thought i needed a mobile phone. Soon i got rid of the landline telephone, at least i didn't think i needed both! With that mobile phone the conditioning of picking up when it rang was even stronger, i picked it up whenever and wherever i was. I never realised that it actually can be very rude to others to just pick up the phone while being in the presence of others. But hey, everybody else does it too, it seems to be accepted. Later my wife pointed out that it's not acceptable behaviour. (my wife is very good in pointing out how much i am conditioned) After thinking about it i realised two things. Yes, it is rude to just pick up a call when in the presence of others, especially when being in a conversation. And i asked myself why do i need to pick up the phone when called? Can't i just decide for myself whether i want to talk with some one on the phone or not? Can some one demand to speak with me whenever they want it? Isn't it an intrusion of my privacy? Yes, it is, and my privacy is my own. Whenever the phone is ringing i look on the display who it is and decide wether to pick it up or to let it go. Sometimes i don't even bother to look who it is, especially when i'm doing something. They can leave a voicemail if it's important. When i'm not at work my phone lies on my desk at home and doesn't come with me whenever i go out. And yes, i'm probably one of the very few who dare to go out without a mobile phone, at least for someone of my age and younger. It's nothing to worry about, as before i ever had a mobile phone i went out without a worry too. It's actually quite relaxing. Oh, and i never got into texting. I never was interested in a smartphone or iphone or whatever mobile devices with millions of functions there are. No apps for me or mobile internet.
Life without a demanding phone. Life can be so simple.
I grew up in a house with no telephone at all, at least during my younger years. I remember going to the nearby post office with my mother where there was a public phone whenever my mother wanted to call some one. And that happened not often. But eventually my parents decided to get a landline telephone. I thought it was a marvelous bit of technique. But with it came this urge, the urge to pick up the horn when it was ringing. Some one needed to talk to one of the household and they can't be left waiting to long, or even worse, letting the call to be unanswered. This was also one of many conditionings i was subjected to.
Years later when i was living on my own i thought that i needed a landline telephone. Again years later i thought i needed a mobile phone. Soon i got rid of the landline telephone, at least i didn't think i needed both! With that mobile phone the conditioning of picking up when it rang was even stronger, i picked it up whenever and wherever i was. I never realised that it actually can be very rude to others to just pick up the phone while being in the presence of others. But hey, everybody else does it too, it seems to be accepted. Later my wife pointed out that it's not acceptable behaviour. (my wife is very good in pointing out how much i am conditioned) After thinking about it i realised two things. Yes, it is rude to just pick up a call when in the presence of others, especially when being in a conversation. And i asked myself why do i need to pick up the phone when called? Can't i just decide for myself whether i want to talk with some one on the phone or not? Can some one demand to speak with me whenever they want it? Isn't it an intrusion of my privacy? Yes, it is, and my privacy is my own. Whenever the phone is ringing i look on the display who it is and decide wether to pick it up or to let it go. Sometimes i don't even bother to look who it is, especially when i'm doing something. They can leave a voicemail if it's important. When i'm not at work my phone lies on my desk at home and doesn't come with me whenever i go out. And yes, i'm probably one of the very few who dare to go out without a mobile phone, at least for someone of my age and younger. It's nothing to worry about, as before i ever had a mobile phone i went out without a worry too. It's actually quite relaxing. Oh, and i never got into texting. I never was interested in a smartphone or iphone or whatever mobile devices with millions of functions there are. No apps for me or mobile internet.
Life without a demanding phone. Life can be so simple.
vrijdag 24 april 2015
No soap.
A while ago i decided to stop using shampoo when having a shower. Again, using shampoo is also a thing of conditioning, while i never thought about why i was using it. When reading on the internet about people not using any shampoo i gave it a try. I can say that it's great, i still get clean but now without smelling like a chemist shop. And yes, the smell of shampoo is terrible. Every time i got out of the shower i stank like a chemical factory, and got smelled at by the dogs. All that is gone now. Another good thing is that my skin is less dry, especially noticable on my feet. My hair feels better too and doesn't tie so much anymore then it used too. Of course, the cosmetics industry would recommend me several products against dry skin and bad hair. To me they are just useless products made only for the profits of businessmen, not for the good of humanity.
And even longer now i stopped brushing my teeth. The dentist has not seen me for years either. This has made a great difference. My teeth are not rotting away, despite what dentists say about not brushing teeth. Even more remarkable, i have a tooth with a hole in it. Now and then i rinse my mouth with salt water and that is all.
I like to put dentists and the cosmetic industry on one heep as they seem to work together. The last dentist i was going to made this really obvious. After the regular checkup i was told (not asked) to go next door to the mouth hygienist, who then told me how to clean my teeth and with which products. She could sell me this amazing electric toothbrush for a reduced price and highly recommended it. It was like being in a toothbrush commercial.
The dentist that i had twenty years ago was totally different. A practice at home, no hospital white interior whit lots of equipment, just the nessecary things and the dentist with a little light on his head instead of these annoying big bright lights hovering above your head. It was always a one or two minute thing, the dentist looked in my mouth and when there was no hole in any tooth he just said to me "see you next time". No lecture on how to brush my teeth or what products to use, just plain simple checking and only doing something when it was needed. Dentist appointments didn't cost me much back then. Then i moved to another place and got the opposite. This dentist worked together with a collegue and both of them tried to earn as much as possible on me, including convincing me that i needed crowns on all my teeth. They managed to fuck up most of my teeth, or tried to and got me one crown before i left them. What they also did was removing hardened plaque from my teeth with a drill or something. After their treatment i had very sensitive teeth and i noticed that here and there bits of teeth were braking off. I left them and moved to my current dentist being more reluctant to swallow all their bullshit. They have removed some damage done by the previous dentists, which has cost me several teeth, and after that i stopped going. Now i have no sensitive teeth anymore and healthy gum. All that talk about plaque that needs to be removed because it causes your gum to become infected and retracting from your teeth is nonsense. Nature will sort itself out and your saliva will take care of your teeth and gum, not chemical cosmetics.
Just out of curiosity i was googling a bit about this subject and came across some more nonsense, apparently aimed to make people afraid. There are several newsreports/articles about not brushing your teeth can cause heart disease. Some researchers did a little bit of research and came to the conclusion that bad mouth hygiene can cause heartfailure. There are no hard facts that this really happens. I can give some hard facts. My father has never in his life brushed his teeth, half his life has been smoking, and became 83 years old. He died of cancer and in his last days there was nothing left of him, but his heart just didn't stop beating. My father's parents never brushed their teeth and died well into their nineties, having a very healthy heart. And as i am doing reasearch for making a family tree i discovered that most people got very old, 80 years or more were no exception, and i went as far as the fifteen hundreds! None of them have brushed there teeth like people do now. So there is my conclusion on the subject. Any scientist can try to prove me wrong, but they can't. If they want proof i'll show them any family tree that's published on the internet.
A while ago i decided to stop using shampoo when having a shower. Again, using shampoo is also a thing of conditioning, while i never thought about why i was using it. When reading on the internet about people not using any shampoo i gave it a try. I can say that it's great, i still get clean but now without smelling like a chemist shop. And yes, the smell of shampoo is terrible. Every time i got out of the shower i stank like a chemical factory, and got smelled at by the dogs. All that is gone now. Another good thing is that my skin is less dry, especially noticable on my feet. My hair feels better too and doesn't tie so much anymore then it used too. Of course, the cosmetics industry would recommend me several products against dry skin and bad hair. To me they are just useless products made only for the profits of businessmen, not for the good of humanity.
And even longer now i stopped brushing my teeth. The dentist has not seen me for years either. This has made a great difference. My teeth are not rotting away, despite what dentists say about not brushing teeth. Even more remarkable, i have a tooth with a hole in it. Now and then i rinse my mouth with salt water and that is all.
I like to put dentists and the cosmetic industry on one heep as they seem to work together. The last dentist i was going to made this really obvious. After the regular checkup i was told (not asked) to go next door to the mouth hygienist, who then told me how to clean my teeth and with which products. She could sell me this amazing electric toothbrush for a reduced price and highly recommended it. It was like being in a toothbrush commercial.
The dentist that i had twenty years ago was totally different. A practice at home, no hospital white interior whit lots of equipment, just the nessecary things and the dentist with a little light on his head instead of these annoying big bright lights hovering above your head. It was always a one or two minute thing, the dentist looked in my mouth and when there was no hole in any tooth he just said to me "see you next time". No lecture on how to brush my teeth or what products to use, just plain simple checking and only doing something when it was needed. Dentist appointments didn't cost me much back then. Then i moved to another place and got the opposite. This dentist worked together with a collegue and both of them tried to earn as much as possible on me, including convincing me that i needed crowns on all my teeth. They managed to fuck up most of my teeth, or tried to and got me one crown before i left them. What they also did was removing hardened plaque from my teeth with a drill or something. After their treatment i had very sensitive teeth and i noticed that here and there bits of teeth were braking off. I left them and moved to my current dentist being more reluctant to swallow all their bullshit. They have removed some damage done by the previous dentists, which has cost me several teeth, and after that i stopped going. Now i have no sensitive teeth anymore and healthy gum. All that talk about plaque that needs to be removed because it causes your gum to become infected and retracting from your teeth is nonsense. Nature will sort itself out and your saliva will take care of your teeth and gum, not chemical cosmetics.
Just out of curiosity i was googling a bit about this subject and came across some more nonsense, apparently aimed to make people afraid. There are several newsreports/articles about not brushing your teeth can cause heart disease. Some researchers did a little bit of research and came to the conclusion that bad mouth hygiene can cause heartfailure. There are no hard facts that this really happens. I can give some hard facts. My father has never in his life brushed his teeth, half his life has been smoking, and became 83 years old. He died of cancer and in his last days there was nothing left of him, but his heart just didn't stop beating. My father's parents never brushed their teeth and died well into their nineties, having a very healthy heart. And as i am doing reasearch for making a family tree i discovered that most people got very old, 80 years or more were no exception, and i went as far as the fifteen hundreds! None of them have brushed there teeth like people do now. So there is my conclusion on the subject. Any scientist can try to prove me wrong, but they can't. If they want proof i'll show them any family tree that's published on the internet.
zondag 1 februari 2015
Conditioning.
After talking with my wife i realised that i'm conditioned in several ways. One of the things we talked about was how conditioned i am about what a husband should be. Several times i had said that i wanted to be a good husband, and when i thought i had failed to be one, i said that i was a bad husband. And it was my conditioning talking. I had this fairytale marriage in my head where i had a strict role in as a husband. A marriage is a commitment, a legal thing that makes sure that both partners in the marriage have certain rights. And it is put in writing that both partners promise to stay together and care for eachother. The non legal bit is what both partners make of it/fill in themselves. Being a husband is the legal part in the relationship with my wife, besides that i'm everything else, lover, best friend, partner, bedwarmer, etcetera.
Another example of my conditioning is the clothes i wear. My wife and i had tye died some shirts last year, but mine had been hanging in the wardrobe ever since. So my wife asked me why i never wore them, and the first thing that came to my mind was that i didn't wanted the shirts to get dirty at work. So why didn't i wore them in my free time? And what is the purpose of clothing anyway? One of the purposes is to protect the body, which includes from dirt. Clothes get dirty, so they get washed, and if the stains don't get out completely then that is just the way it is. This morning i put on a tye died t-shirt with a sweater over it as it is winter now. I rather not wear a sweater as the t-shirt looks great, but at least i'm using the t-shirt for the purpose it is made of.
I'm sure i'm in many more ways conditioned and it is a matter of time when i have seen all the ways i'm conditioned in. It just takes some insight into myself and ask myself the question 'why am i doing this, why do i think i "should" do something or shouldn't, why do i think this and not that'.
I have only one life on this planet as far as i know, and i can make it a happy life, a life i was destined to live.
Barclay James Harvest - Life is for livin'
After talking with my wife i realised that i'm conditioned in several ways. One of the things we talked about was how conditioned i am about what a husband should be. Several times i had said that i wanted to be a good husband, and when i thought i had failed to be one, i said that i was a bad husband. And it was my conditioning talking. I had this fairytale marriage in my head where i had a strict role in as a husband. A marriage is a commitment, a legal thing that makes sure that both partners in the marriage have certain rights. And it is put in writing that both partners promise to stay together and care for eachother. The non legal bit is what both partners make of it/fill in themselves. Being a husband is the legal part in the relationship with my wife, besides that i'm everything else, lover, best friend, partner, bedwarmer, etcetera.
Another example of my conditioning is the clothes i wear. My wife and i had tye died some shirts last year, but mine had been hanging in the wardrobe ever since. So my wife asked me why i never wore them, and the first thing that came to my mind was that i didn't wanted the shirts to get dirty at work. So why didn't i wore them in my free time? And what is the purpose of clothing anyway? One of the purposes is to protect the body, which includes from dirt. Clothes get dirty, so they get washed, and if the stains don't get out completely then that is just the way it is. This morning i put on a tye died t-shirt with a sweater over it as it is winter now. I rather not wear a sweater as the t-shirt looks great, but at least i'm using the t-shirt for the purpose it is made of.
I'm sure i'm in many more ways conditioned and it is a matter of time when i have seen all the ways i'm conditioned in. It just takes some insight into myself and ask myself the question 'why am i doing this, why do i think i "should" do something or shouldn't, why do i think this and not that'.
I have only one life on this planet as far as i know, and i can make it a happy life, a life i was destined to live.
Barclay James Harvest - Life is for livin'
donderdag 29 januari 2015
maandag 26 januari 2015
Living is an art.
Following my heart instead of my mind can free me, the other way around will only make me a prisoner of my ego, selfishness and low self esteem. The heart is truthfull, the mind can deceive. It takes courage to follow the heart, it's easier to follow the mind. The mind says fit in with the group, it's safer, while the heart says do your own thing. The mind gives reasons why to follow it, the heart knows what is best for me. Looking back at my past i know that i felt really alive when i followed my heart. Feeling really alive is one of the best feelings i can have.
I should listen more to my heart, it tells me how to be alive.
Following my heart instead of my mind can free me, the other way around will only make me a prisoner of my ego, selfishness and low self esteem. The heart is truthfull, the mind can deceive. It takes courage to follow the heart, it's easier to follow the mind. The mind says fit in with the group, it's safer, while the heart says do your own thing. The mind gives reasons why to follow it, the heart knows what is best for me. Looking back at my past i know that i felt really alive when i followed my heart. Feeling really alive is one of the best feelings i can have.
I should listen more to my heart, it tells me how to be alive.
zaterdag 17 januari 2015
Relationship with my wife.
In our relationship my wife and i are no sheep, right from the beginning. We didn't get together after dating for a while, but after becoming friends on an internet forum. When we fell in love we both had a very strong desire to get together. This wasn't that easy as my wife lived in England and i lived in the Netherlands. A ferry crossing was booked for me to go to England but on the day before my crossing there was a storm that forced all ferries to stay docked waiting for the storm to calm down. On the day of my crossing i still wasn't sure wether the ferries would sail across, but i was determined to go, even if i had to go all the way to France to travel by train through the tunnel between France and England. Nothing could stop me. Fortunatly the ferries did sail and i arrived at my future wife's home as planned, and from that day on we have not been away from each other for one full day. When i'm working i'm away from home of course, but never any longer then necessary. If at work they would ask me to do a job far from home which would make hotel staying necessary, i would refuse it. At the moment my wife and i are watching Survivor, a game where a group of people are playing a game on a remote place far from home for 39 days. The person who wins this game can win a million dollars. For me the choice wouldn't be difficult, winning a million or be with my wife, without hesitation i choose to be with my wife. She is the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. She is the most wonderfull, kind, considerate, loving, sexy, smart, wise, intelligent, amazing woman in the world. And i am the most fortunate man in the world for my wife wants me as her partner.
A very important part of our relationship is that we are best friends. Best friends hang out with each other, share thoughts with each other and express their feelings to each other. Our relationship is unique, it is ours alone. Not something we learned out of books or from websites, not something copied from others. Not conventional nor conforming. And it couldn't be any different, as we both are no sheeples.
In our relationship my wife and i are no sheep, right from the beginning. We didn't get together after dating for a while, but after becoming friends on an internet forum. When we fell in love we both had a very strong desire to get together. This wasn't that easy as my wife lived in England and i lived in the Netherlands. A ferry crossing was booked for me to go to England but on the day before my crossing there was a storm that forced all ferries to stay docked waiting for the storm to calm down. On the day of my crossing i still wasn't sure wether the ferries would sail across, but i was determined to go, even if i had to go all the way to France to travel by train through the tunnel between France and England. Nothing could stop me. Fortunatly the ferries did sail and i arrived at my future wife's home as planned, and from that day on we have not been away from each other for one full day. When i'm working i'm away from home of course, but never any longer then necessary. If at work they would ask me to do a job far from home which would make hotel staying necessary, i would refuse it. At the moment my wife and i are watching Survivor, a game where a group of people are playing a game on a remote place far from home for 39 days. The person who wins this game can win a million dollars. For me the choice wouldn't be difficult, winning a million or be with my wife, without hesitation i choose to be with my wife. She is the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. She is the most wonderfull, kind, considerate, loving, sexy, smart, wise, intelligent, amazing woman in the world. And i am the most fortunate man in the world for my wife wants me as her partner.
A very important part of our relationship is that we are best friends. Best friends hang out with each other, share thoughts with each other and express their feelings to each other. Our relationship is unique, it is ours alone. Not something we learned out of books or from websites, not something copied from others. Not conventional nor conforming. And it couldn't be any different, as we both are no sheeples.
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