Funworld

Last night my wife said to me that it felt like she was living in funworld. "There are so many fun things i do!" And yes, there are always many fun things to do and i'm glad that my wife taught me that it is important to have fun in life. 'Live for the moment' and 'live like there's no tomorrow' are old clichés, i know, but so very true. Why waste your life with doing household chores when there are interesting things to do like playing with Playmobil, reading a good book, solving a griddle puzzle, having some beers and talking. And even with doing responsible things like nourishing oneselves it is possible to have fun with it. Finding a new recipe on the internet and trying it out, or finding some new food in the supermarket and trying it out instead of cooking the same as usual. And my wife is an expert in cooking and improvising and finding new ways of cooking a meal. So much more then i could ever be.

This sounds like we live a free life, but then there's the reality of everyday life. What is most limiting in our life is our pets. The two cats are pretty low maintenance, but our two dogs are not, mainly because of the youngest dog. The youngest dog should have been fully mature by now, but he's very slow in his development. At first it looked like he was mentally disabled, but he seems to be highly intelligent. And dominating. He has to grow out of his immature behaviour before he can become an easier to handle and obedient dog. But for now he is troublesome, and that affects the life of my wife in particular, even more when i'm working. Because of the young dog's behaviour my wife has to keep him on a lead for most of the time he is out of his crate. He can't be held in his crate day and night as this is not fair to the dog. And i'm not as good as my wife in handling the dog, he's just too difficult. Actually we both realise that this dog is very fortunate that we got him, perhaps nobody else could have kept him. And dogs require routine. So we don't live as free as we could and want, but that is the reality of life.

Then why not get rid of that dog? There's two reasons. First, when you get a dog its life depends upon you, the owner. As an owner you keep it safe, well fed and healthy, and yes, also happy. A dog deserves a good life, like every animal or pet. When giving a dog away you never know what a horrible life it could have then.
Second reason is that it seems that God chose my wife to take care of dogs with problems. Many of the dogs she owned, or took care of, had a terminal disease and died long before thair natural lifespan. Three of these dogs had hydrocephalus. One of these dogs was Nachman, i wrote about him earlier. My wife believes it is impossible that someone has had three dogs with hydrocephalus, not to mention so many other dogs with a terminal disease.
Our young dog is troublesome but seems to be healthy at the moment, but still needs a lot of attention from my wife. The other older dog is quite normal. That older dog was chosen by me, Nachman and our current troublesome one were chosen by my wife. Why does God give troublesome dogs to my wife one can ask. The answer is simple, my wife is the only one who can give these dogs a good life.

Dogs have the right to live in funworld too, even when it limits the funworld of their owners. 

Conditioning.

After talking with my wife i realised that i'm conditioned in several ways. One of the things we talked about was how conditioned i am about what a husband should be. Several times i had said that i wanted to be a good husband, and when i thought i had failed to be one, i said that i was a bad husband. And it was my conditioning talking. I had this fairytale marriage in my head where i had a strict role in as a husband. A marriage is a commitment, a legal thing that makes sure that both partners in the marriage have certain rights. And it is put in writing that both partners promise to stay together and care for eachother. The non legal bit is what both partners make of it/fill in themselves. Being a husband is the legal part in the relationship with my wife, besides that i'm everything else, lover, best friend, partner, bedwarmer, etcetera.

Another example of my conditioning is the clothes i wear. My wife and i had tye died some shirts last year, but mine had been hanging in the wardrobe ever since. So my wife asked me why i never wore them, and the first thing that came to my mind was that i didn't wanted the shirts to get dirty at work. So why didn't i wore them in my free time? And what is the purpose of clothing anyway? One of the purposes is to protect the body, which includes from dirt. Clothes get dirty, so they get washed, and if the stains don't get out completely then that is just the way it is. This morning i put on a tye died t-shirt with a sweater over it as it is winter now. I rather not wear a sweater as the t-shirt looks great, but at least i'm using the t-shirt for the purpose it is made of.

I'm sure i'm in many more ways conditioned and it is a matter of time when i have seen all the ways i'm conditioned in. It just takes some insight into myself and ask myself the question 'why am i doing this, why do i think i "should" do something or shouldn't, why do i think this and not that'. 

I have only one life on this planet as far as i know, and i can make it a happy life, a life i was destined to live.  

Barclay James Harvest - Life is for livin'